Remember that CBS Special Presentation promo that used to air before X-mas specials way back when? The conga drums, high horns, and colorful swirling text brought joy to cherubic Kid Tremendo. Not only did it signal the televised arrival of Frosty, Rudolph, and depressing old Charlie Brown, it also meant X-mas was very near. You don’t hear that promo anymore, and the excitement around X-mas specials has been deflated since every yahoo from Clay Aiken to Larry the Cable Guy to the Pope has their own special. But nonetheless, the TV holiday special is a cherished treasure of the yuletide season. Since my X-mas movie supplier is running late, I am going to switch gears a little and focus on some long-neglected holiday TV show episode viewing. Here’s part one of two.
THE CARD:
A pussy-eating space-invading sarcastic Muppet, a fascist rodent bent on world domination who’s not Paris Hilton, and an easy-going non-ass-flashing NYPD captain who’s sorely missed.
PINKY AND THE BRAIN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
THE ANGLE:
By day, Pinky and the Brain are two white mice who work for Warner Bros. subsidiary ACME Labs. At night, the Brain plots to take over the world with little help from his dim-witted friend Pinky. This X-mas, Brain has created a doll with a built-in device that hypnotizes people into doing his bidding. The plot involves them breaking into Santa’s Workshop at the North Pole, sneaking the doll blueprints to the elves for production, and then having Santa do the dirty work by distributing them to all the boys and girls. As is par the course for Pinky and his dictator-wannabe pal, things go awry and they have to pose as elves, get tortured by toy making machinery, and hijack Santa’s slay. When it looks like the plan is about to be successful, Brain receives a full lethal dose of the power of X-mas sweetness in this funny, fast-paced, and smart X-mas special.
THE FINISHER:
Pinky and the Brain started out as a popular segment on the cartoon show Steven Spielberg’s Animaniacs in the 90s. It was a sharply written, often hilarious, and probably best plotted of the cartoons that supported the main Animaniacs feature. The characters were so popular they spun-off on their own TV show that ran from 1995 to 1998. This X-mas episode typifies the spirit of the characters and the series. Brain is an evil genius Orson Welles. Pinky is hysterically but lovably stupid. And the creators love to poke fun at Bill Clinton. This is a solid, witty, and well-written X-mas special that really should be included with all annual X-mas viewings.
Watch this episode here.
ALF’S SPECIAL CHRISTMAS
THE ANGLE:
Irksome extraterrestrial Alf and his host family the Tanners trek to a cabin in the woods to spend X-mas. Dad Willie spent a memorable X-mas in this particular cabin as a boy when owner Mr. Foley (Cleavon Little) allowed his family to spend the holiday after they got evicted. As usual, Mom and the Tanner kids don’t appreciate the sentimentality and declare this the worst X-mas ever. To make matters worse, Alf gives everyone a headache by opening presents, eating all the food, and generally being a jerk. Alf mistakenly boards Mr. Foley’s truck full of toys that’s headed to a children’s hospital where the old man will be playing Santa. Alf poses as a toy and is befriended by Tiffany, a terminally ill kid. We learn that Mr. Foley is a recent widower, severely depressed, and on the verge of suicide. And if that wasn’t hilarious enough, Alf helps a woman give birth in what I can only describe as the first vagina-Muppet hand birth caught on tape. And so Alf learns the true meaning of X-mas, sheds a tear for the bucket-kicking kid, saves Foley from jumping off a bridge, and probably eats a cat or two which is more action than I’ve seen in a while.
THE FINISHER:
Alf is a dick. He should be renamed ‘Ad’ for Alien Dick. He treats the Tanners like shit after they have risked their lives to harbor him from government dissection and Jonathan Frakes-hosted TV specials. Outside the Tanners’, he’s a much nicer guy, eases up on the Dangerfield shtick, and actually gets funnier. He’s a dick. I can’t say I remember a single episode of this seminal 80s show, but I do remember Alf’s appearances on the Carson show and his brief TV Land talk show. Regardless, this teary-eyed X-mas special is almost unbearably gushy, especially the bit with the dying kid. And Cleavon didn’t look too hot himself. Shot on film and clocking in at close to an hour, this must have been an extra-special episode, hobbled by a maudlin mood, weepy story, and serious lack of chuckles.
Watch this episode here.
BARNEY MILLER: CHRISTMAS STORY
THE ANGLE:
It’s another X-mas Eve in the 12th Precinct and crime doesn’t take a holiday for Capt. Miller (Hal Linden), and detectives Fish (Abe Vigoda), Wojo (Max Gail), Harris (Ron Glass) and wisecracker Yamana (Jack Soo). They have to deal with a serial Santa robber, a mugged hooker, a disgruntled parent, and Fish’s incontinence. Wojo’s giddy X-mas spirit is challenged by the angry Dad who can’t put his kid’s present together, Fish’s Scrooge-like attitude, Harris’ indifference, and Yamana making a date with the hooker. And then Barney has to deal with lonesome Inspector Lugar’s (James Gregory) unsubtle attempts to get himself invited for X-mas dinner. In the end all is well when the Santa robber is nabbed, Yamana gets lucky, the guys exchange gifts, and Fish takes a dump.
THE FINISHER:
They just don’t write sitcoms like Barney Miller anymore. Clever, satirical, witty, and sometimes philosophical, this cop comedy is one of television’s best. This episode is emblematic of the entire series containing subtle humor, endearing characters, and off-beat storylines. Barney Miller never delved into wacky sitcom situations and outlandish absurdity. And this cop show wasn’t focused on just catching the bad guy; it also dealt with how cops related with them and each other. I used to know someone who had worked as a city cop, a sheriff’s deputy, and a DEA agent in a law enforcement career spanning three decades. I once asked him what the most accurate TV cop show was in his opinion. His immediate answer, hands down, was always Barney Miller.
Watch this episode here.
THE CARD:
A pussy-eating space-invading sarcastic Muppet, a fascist rodent bent on world domination who’s not Paris Hilton, and an easy-going non-ass-flashing NYPD captain who’s sorely missed.
PINKY AND THE BRAIN CHRISTMAS SPECIALTHE ANGLE:
By day, Pinky and the Brain are two white mice who work for Warner Bros. subsidiary ACME Labs. At night, the Brain plots to take over the world with little help from his dim-witted friend Pinky. This X-mas, Brain has created a doll with a built-in device that hypnotizes people into doing his bidding. The plot involves them breaking into Santa’s Workshop at the North Pole, sneaking the doll blueprints to the elves for production, and then having Santa do the dirty work by distributing them to all the boys and girls. As is par the course for Pinky and his dictator-wannabe pal, things go awry and they have to pose as elves, get tortured by toy making machinery, and hijack Santa’s slay. When it looks like the plan is about to be successful, Brain receives a full lethal dose of the power of X-mas sweetness in this funny, fast-paced, and smart X-mas special.
THE FINISHER:
Pinky and the Brain started out as a popular segment on the cartoon show Steven Spielberg’s Animaniacs in the 90s. It was a sharply written, often hilarious, and probably best plotted of the cartoons that supported the main Animaniacs feature. The characters were so popular they spun-off on their own TV show that ran from 1995 to 1998. This X-mas episode typifies the spirit of the characters and the series. Brain is an evil genius Orson Welles. Pinky is hysterically but lovably stupid. And the creators love to poke fun at Bill Clinton. This is a solid, witty, and well-written X-mas special that really should be included with all annual X-mas viewings.
Watch this episode here.
ALF’S SPECIAL CHRISTMASTHE ANGLE:
Irksome extraterrestrial Alf and his host family the Tanners trek to a cabin in the woods to spend X-mas. Dad Willie spent a memorable X-mas in this particular cabin as a boy when owner Mr. Foley (Cleavon Little) allowed his family to spend the holiday after they got evicted. As usual, Mom and the Tanner kids don’t appreciate the sentimentality and declare this the worst X-mas ever. To make matters worse, Alf gives everyone a headache by opening presents, eating all the food, and generally being a jerk. Alf mistakenly boards Mr. Foley’s truck full of toys that’s headed to a children’s hospital where the old man will be playing Santa. Alf poses as a toy and is befriended by Tiffany, a terminally ill kid. We learn that Mr. Foley is a recent widower, severely depressed, and on the verge of suicide. And if that wasn’t hilarious enough, Alf helps a woman give birth in what I can only describe as the first vagina-Muppet hand birth caught on tape. And so Alf learns the true meaning of X-mas, sheds a tear for the bucket-kicking kid, saves Foley from jumping off a bridge, and probably eats a cat or two which is more action than I’ve seen in a while.
THE FINISHER:
Alf is a dick. He should be renamed ‘Ad’ for Alien Dick. He treats the Tanners like shit after they have risked their lives to harbor him from government dissection and Jonathan Frakes-hosted TV specials. Outside the Tanners’, he’s a much nicer guy, eases up on the Dangerfield shtick, and actually gets funnier. He’s a dick. I can’t say I remember a single episode of this seminal 80s show, but I do remember Alf’s appearances on the Carson show and his brief TV Land talk show. Regardless, this teary-eyed X-mas special is almost unbearably gushy, especially the bit with the dying kid. And Cleavon didn’t look too hot himself. Shot on film and clocking in at close to an hour, this must have been an extra-special episode, hobbled by a maudlin mood, weepy story, and serious lack of chuckles.
Watch this episode here.
BARNEY MILLER: CHRISTMAS STORYTHE ANGLE:
It’s another X-mas Eve in the 12th Precinct and crime doesn’t take a holiday for Capt. Miller (Hal Linden), and detectives Fish (Abe Vigoda), Wojo (Max Gail), Harris (Ron Glass) and wisecracker Yamana (Jack Soo). They have to deal with a serial Santa robber, a mugged hooker, a disgruntled parent, and Fish’s incontinence. Wojo’s giddy X-mas spirit is challenged by the angry Dad who can’t put his kid’s present together, Fish’s Scrooge-like attitude, Harris’ indifference, and Yamana making a date with the hooker. And then Barney has to deal with lonesome Inspector Lugar’s (James Gregory) unsubtle attempts to get himself invited for X-mas dinner. In the end all is well when the Santa robber is nabbed, Yamana gets lucky, the guys exchange gifts, and Fish takes a dump.
THE FINISHER:
They just don’t write sitcoms like Barney Miller anymore. Clever, satirical, witty, and sometimes philosophical, this cop comedy is one of television’s best. This episode is emblematic of the entire series containing subtle humor, endearing characters, and off-beat storylines. Barney Miller never delved into wacky sitcom situations and outlandish absurdity. And this cop show wasn’t focused on just catching the bad guy; it also dealt with how cops related with them and each other. I used to know someone who had worked as a city cop, a sheriff’s deputy, and a DEA agent in a law enforcement career spanning three decades. I once asked him what the most accurate TV cop show was in his opinion. His immediate answer, hands down, was always Barney Miller.
Watch this episode here.
No comments:
Post a Comment